Kick'n it in England and Spain - by Marlene
guest post by marlene:
England and Spain are great countries, don’t get me wrong. However, now that it’s 1 AM and I am winding down my trip, I can’t help but express my thoughts about some particulars regarding my stay. umm… here’s the thoughts to ponder:
Why is it…
I grew up speaking English. I mean not a lick of Spanish or anything else. I even have a degree in English! I taught English for 7 years. I dream in English. I read in English. I watch TV in English (Except for a few Spanish channel car commercials which I find amuzing). Then why on earth can’t I understand the English PEOPLE!!! I swear it’s a conspiracy. I think the British government told all the people to speak really fast and to pretend not to understand us just so they could get back at us for leaving the country. Somewhere there’s a big guy named Hans whose laughing at us. Geeze, all I wanted was ice tea already. Speak English you English people!
Okay, people don’t smell as bad as I remembered the last time I was here. I think they have (for the most part) discovered deodorant. Although I appreciate the Englanders discovering deodorant around the year 2001, I wish they could pass the discovery along to the other foreigners that visit the place. Try being squished against the gates of Buckingham Palace for 45 minutes just trying to catch a glimpse of the “Changing of the Guard”, (a beautiful ceremony held in the front of the palace in which the palace marching band plays amusing songs like “Star Wars"). I mean, geeze being squished by a group of camera happy, energetic, and fun-lovin smelly people is not the best way to spend the afternoon on the fifth day of the historic London heat wave (a whopping 86 degrees!). DEODORANT people. When all is said and done, Kimi and I are the cleanest people in all of Europe since we take two showers a day AND use deodorant. Clean enough to make even the queen proud…
The Buckingham Palace fiasco was almost worth it because a young girl was in the military band (THE ONLY GIRL IN UNIFORM AT THE PALACE!!!) and she was trying to represent us female types by being in the male dominated military band, but cheeze and rice, it was a whopping 86 degrees out there and she passed out. The men took her instrument, squeezed close together to drag her along between her shoulders. You would have thought they were going to be sent to the chopping block if they moved out of formation to help out the poor girl. Now, she’s the shame of all the gutsy military women in Europe. Okay, she made us women look weak, but hey, at least it was exciting to watch them all sweat out (hopefully with deodorant) the ceremony with one member passed out. - It was almost as good as the buck naked dude walking around the street at 2 AM on the regular city street in Barcelona. Don’t worry, everyone, along with our dear friend Kimi took pictures. At least the man was tan…
And the last thing…
Why don’t these European countries believe in clothes dryers? You mean to tell me that every person can walk around the country with a razor phone, but no one can have their clothes dry within 30 minutes. Sadly, my clothes are hanging out the window in Barcelona as I type. I already told Kimi that she is commissioned to retrieve all clothing from the sidewalk 6 floors below, should a breeze happen to knock them off the window. Aye dios mio. What to do with wet drippy clothing here in Europe…
Here’s a few perspectives to bounce off the both of yours’. Enjoy!
I hear you both about stores not staying open late enough… here in Nippon they close about 8-ish.
British English? Well, on occasion a couple of North American co-workers looked to me to interpret what a British co-worker said. Recently we went to a church where the pastor does a lot of back-and-forth between here and Kenya. He speaks a little English and has no trouble understanding the English used by people from the UK, Australia, India, Africa, etc. But he has incredible trouble understanding *American* English. Interesting, no?
Deodorant. *sigh* Japanese people are thankfully not naturally stinky. But foreigners---God, I love ‘em, but the smell is something at times.
Of “street signs”, I thought I’d add that here in Nippon there are very few street *names*. Interesting, it is.
We’re short on clothes dryers here, too. Well, there’s not much space for them in the compacto-society. But everyone line-dries. Often your washing machine is actually located next to your clothes-lines on your balcony, with a “garden” (that is, a couple potted plants). Considering what may be downstairs (Chinese food, fried octopus stands, lots of traffic), your clothes may have a peculiar smell you just can’t place. Recently there was a lady on the news who’d done some kind of complaint or lawsuit against a Chinese restaurant downstairs because of all the cooking exhaust channeled out of it and up to her drying clothes. The store owner smelled her clothes and said, “No, we don’t use that kind of cooking oil.”
Anyway, thanks for all your updates! I’m vewy vewy jeawous. Especially because, hey, I wish I could speak Spanish, being the half-Mexican nut I am.
Posted by Ramone on 07/09 at 02:45 AMhahaha… i’ve always wondered about that - line drying! and then i know people turn their clothes inside out so their shirt still looks clean, and i look at that and go, ewwwww.... i don’t wanna turn that rightside in and put that next to my skin!
however, at least here i have a washing machine.
in ecuador (only cuz i was in a ghetto house...) i had to wash ALL my clothes by hand. hang dry INSIDE my room because i didn’t want the street dirt on it.
ALL YEAR LONG!!!!
this is why i don’t like thick towels to this day… the thin, rough, scratchy ones, though totally un-luxurious, were the only ones i could wash by hand.... *sigh*
Posted by on 07/09 at 03:32 AM
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