i'm gettin' set in my ways
so this living alone thing… it isn’t that bad anymore. i think when i first moved into this apartment it drove me crazy to come home to an empty apartment knowing it would stay empty the rest of the night. this is the first time i’m living alone, y’know? i mean, i had a room all to myself in college in the honors dorm, but there were always people around and i hardly stayed in my room anyways, and even if i was there my door was wide open and i could talk to my friends down the hall. living in the other house i was home alone alot but shelia was always around, even if she was on call and at the hospital, and rita was home thurs-sun. but here, in my apartment now, i’m the only one here during the week. i can leave all my shtuff lying around if i want to, i can watch tv at whatever volume i want to, i can sleep out in the living room (and i do - my couch is so comfy!), and pretty much i have the run of the place. while only 4 months ago i didn’t like the thought of living alone, now, i can’t imagine having more roommates.
i was telling this to gary - that i’m getting used to this living single business - and he told me that as i grow older i’m just gonna get more set in my ways. and especially when talking relationships… where i’m not so young and hopeful as i might have once been =) hahaha… it’s true though, i think, that when people are younger, they have this grand idea of finding “the one” and making this perfect life together, whereas, someone who’s used to living alone and has been doing things their way a lot longer will be a little more reticent to change their ways. i guess what i mean (or at least what i understood gary to be telling me) is that it becomes less of finding the perfect person to meld with as it becomes more of a who-will-put-up-with-my-quirks, or even a who-will-i-put-up-with, since i’ve grown more picky. instead of who can i find to make the perfect life with, it becomes a who can i enjoy my time with that will let me be me.
i don’t think it’s necessarily that bad, either. i mean, if i can look at it realistically, then i’ll have less expectations and more chances of being happy. i mean, if i got into marriage when i was younger and more hopeful that we’d complete each other, i could’ve been horribly disappointed by now. but if i think, hey, here’s someone who’s company i can enjoy for the rest of my life, then that would be a much more realistic goal.
but then that’s an interesting concept - maybe if i had looked at my previous relationships through these lenses i would’ve been married by now - after all, i did enjoy their company. but we didn’t share the same goal… or our lives were headed in different directions… or what have you. i dunno… it just didn’t work out.
so here i am, hearing what gary has to say to me. if he’s right, and i’m getting more set in my ways, then that just means that it will be just that much harder to find the right match for me. and if i was that hard to please in my youth, you can imagine just how much harder it is to match me when i’m older. anyways, if he’s right, living alone in this apartment will be the reason why i will be single for the rest of my life. =)
how funny, my mom said the same thing to me: “you’re getting set in your ways!”
Posted by Daryl on 12/13 at 04:02 AMWait a minute. You skipped a step. You’re living alone?!
Seriously. You should call me.
Or I should call you.
Errr. . .yeah.
Posted by on 12/15 at 08:07 PMMollison’s Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
it wasn’t worth doing.
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