Friday, December 30, 2005
to say hi, or not to say hi?
a few weeks ago, while hanging out with a bunch of friends, i found myself standing next to the friend of one of my friends. i’d seen this guy around all summer long and unfortunately, i still didn’t know his name. in an attempt to be friendly and take out the awkwardness of talking to someone whose name you don’t know, i said, “hey!” and then after he said hey back, i just said, “what’s your name again?” i explained that i’d seen him with one of my friends all summer long but that i couldn’t remember his name. friendly and harmless, right? well, a couple conversations later, he ended up asking if i have a boyfriend, so i told him i was seeing someone. later on, i was talking to kuya garry, and i related the story to him, and he pointed out - “but you started it!”, chastising me for being the one to approach him. apparently, because i asked him his name, i shouldn’t be surprised that he would think that i’m interested… i say whatever! i was being friendly! he asked a simple question (which i totally appreciate because some other guys will quote-on-quote-pursue you without ever making their intentions clear and then that woulda left me in an awkward situation with this guy being too friendly and i started it out by being friendly but how do you tell this guy “you’re being too friendly”!??!?! a guy who asks straight-up about relationships gives you the chance to say “yes” or “no” and that’s always appreciated. i’ve noticed that most adventist guys go the other way, the way i don’t like, so i’m really impressed that this guy in particular asked me.) and that conversation may have been slightly awkward but i think we both handled it okay.
anyways, moving forward another week… so then, it’s Christmas and i’m at my cousins’ house. i had slept over the night before and was woken up earlier than i’d’ve liked to get up so that i could start cooking my adobo. i wandered down to the kitchen in my pajamas sans shower and i started to make my food. i had just finished cooking when the guests started arriving, and i though, hmm… this is the time when i need to go upstairs and shower before i meet anyone! right then, my cousin came in the door and we started talking about important stuff, so i ended up staying downstairs to talk to him. a few minutes later this young filipino guy i don’t know came in the door, and kuya garry is there, saying hi to him. i’m still talking to my kuya ernest at the dining room table, so i just turn my head quickly, say “hi”, and then go back to my conversation. kuya garry and eugene end up sitting down at the table next to me and kuya ernest leaves the room, so i figure, it’s now time for me to shower. i leave the table and head upstairs and shower and change and get ready to meet all the guests, then i head back downstairs. i see the three guys still sitting at the table where i left them, and i joined them, continuing my conversation with my cousin. later on, after most of the people had gone home, kuya garry was like, “you didn’t talk to eugene!!” and i said, “i said hi” but no, i guess i didn’t talk to him. i included him in our poker game and invited him to play a second round, which he declined because he was playing taboo with my other cousins. but kuya garry said i shoulda been more friendly to him because he didn’t know anyone else there.
i was like, UM, NO. i mean, if i get in trouble for saying “what’s your name?” to a mutual friend, then why should kuya garry expect me to be the one to entertain this guy for the entire Christmas day. like i said, NO WAY! and then kuya garry said, yah, that’s true, but still, you coulda been friendlier. and then he admitted to using his daughter to befriend the guys who didn’t look like they talk to anyone at church. i’m thinking… hmmm… young, pretty, teenage daughter, and you’re sending her in to greet those guys without friends? making her show interest in someone who doesn’t talk to anyone else? and then he has the guts to blame me for being the one to ask the guy what his name is, when i’m just trying to be friendly!
so… i’m wondering.... how does a girl who is uninterested relationship-wise be friendly towards a guy she doesn’t know without sending the wrong signal? is that even a possibility? if i am the one to approach and say hi, have i already gone too far? should i wait there for him to say hi? i try to include all people, whether guy or girls, but i’m aware that my actions could be misleading. so… in an attempt to not mislead guys, i ask you, oh all-knowing internet, what do i do??!?